The Four Phases

A project manager kept every status cell green. Everyone knew some of them were not.

Zachary walked over, put one finger on one cell, and asked, is this honest? It took six seconds.

That was phase one, the whisper. A look, a question, the lightest feel on the rope.

Phase two, the conversation. A one on one, going through the document together.

Phase three, the boundary. A closed door before standup. If you can't bring it, I will bring it for you.

Phase four, the return to softness. Good call on the standup. And an invitation to the steering committee.

Live in phases one and two. Most managers live at phase three and call it standards.

Some never leave phase zero, and call it being nice.

Buck Brannaman says it this way. Gentle in what you do. Firm in how you do it.

The gentle is in the speed of the return to phase four.

The best sergeants Zachary served with could go from phase one to three and back in thirty seconds.

Then they would pour the coffee. Then they would ask about the stalls.

He learned the hard way, with a working student who missed her chores. He was right about the chores, and gave her six weeks of cold.

He was wrong about the cold.

This is how a marriage argues well, and how a parent corrects a child without breaking something. The boundary, then the warmth, fast.

Phase four is not making nice. Phase four is going back to work.

Phase three with no phase four is cruelty.

Phase one and phase two with no phase three is abdication.

Whisper, conversation, boundary, return. Live in one and two. Gentle in what, firm in how. Return to softness fast. No cold war after the correction.

Next: diagnose first, respond second.